Minds of the Mad
by 47PrettyGroovy11
Summary: One of Frank's latest creations didn't turn out the way he wanted, but Columbia has taken somewhat of a liking to it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my first RHPS fic. First of any fic, actually. I reply to all reviews, let me know if it's okay so far. I am very nervous!**

* * *

Dr. Frank N Furter had created many things in his lifetime, but Columbia and everyone else in the Frankenstein castle had to agree this was definitely the most _normal-looking_creation of them all.

Or _abnormal._It all depended on which way you looked at it.

It was an unusually sunny day, and the inhabitants of the castle were walking on eggshells around the Master. He had been designing this for weeks, it seemed, and today would finally be the end of his relentless ramblings of how spectacular this one really was going to turn out. Riff Raff in particular was relieved. If anything was needed, if any of Frank's odd inventions were somehow ruined, or a broken limb was in need of repair, he was the one to fetch it and to repair it. He had never been quite so tired.

Magenta hurriedly painted the nails of Columbia's left hand. Both girls wanted to look presentable, even more so than ever. Well, Columbia did, at least. Magenta never cared too much for dolling herself up, but she would try her best if it meant keeping Frank in a good mood. She even cracked an attempt at taming her flaming red hair, but everyone knew that was pointless.

At 2:44 in the afternoon, Frank called everyone to the laboratory as he unmasked his latest and greatest creation.

* * *

The Thing was small and shivery like a little Chihuahua. Its hair was as black as coal, long and stringy, straw-like. Its eyes we're chocolaty brown and looked quite dull. The exact opposite of what he had expected. To one person it may just have appeared as a regular child, but to Frank it appeared to be a disastrous monstrosity, a reminder that another thing in life he had failed at. This was a bug on the windshield of life.

They could feel something was defiantly not right with Frank, although on the outside the thing looked as if not a thing was wrong with it. However, Frank was absolutely _shaking_ with anger. He threw his arms up into the air in crazy frustration. This Thing had not turned out all like he wanted what he spent months planning. Just another failure, another Eddie. This was going to be the last one he ever made. The last creation, the one that would make him truly happy.

And all he ended up with was _this_...whatever it was. He scrunched his nose in disgust as it looked way up at him with those brown eyes and blinked those long lashes. Although he had to admit, the miniature creature had a certain...charm about it, a certain _something_none of his previous failed creations possessed.

But still. This was unacceptable and it had to be disposed of immediately.

Frank took a step towards it, but it made a small sound between a gasp and a hiccup, taking a step in the opposite direction. Frowning, his perfectly groomed eyebrows slipping together, he took two steps towards it, and it in turn it took three steps back.

"Damn!" He stomped his foot, heels clicking loudly, causing the Thing to flinch slightly. Magenta, Riff Raff and Columbia watched in mild amusement as their Master and the creature continued this, 'game,' for a fair amount of time. "Damn!" he cursed again, and this time Columbia had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep herself from bursting into a fit of giggles.

Bad idea. Frank glared at her. "And just what is so funny?" he demanded.

Columbia shrugged and looked down at her feet, then back at the tiny thing. "She's cute," the groupie concluded. The creature swung its head around to gaze at the source of the squeaky voice. It and Columbia locked eyes, and her first thought was something along the lines of, _This kid is gonna be better than anyone I've ever known. _

Frank scoffed and flipped some stray curls away from his face. He peeled off his pink gloves, slowly, a sinister-looking smirk creeping onto his face as he glared at the frightened little disaster, skin as pale as his own. He held his bare hand out and said in the gentlest voice he could possibly muster, "Come here, little one."

Magenta snickered. Someone besides Frank obviously didn't care too much for the Thing. Riff Raff, however, continued to remain expressionless.

"Come _here_," Frank repeated impatiently, apparently abandoning the calmer approach. When the Thing didn't budge, just blinked, Frank lunged for it, grabbing it fiercely and tossing it over his shoulder. "Riff Raff, freezer," he commanded as the Thing, too terrified to move, whimpered and lay their chin against Frank's back.

Columbia's heart fluttered. Frank wouldn't do that. Not to such an innocent little individual. He wouldn't lock it away in a giant icebox, doomed to the same fate as Eddie, would he? "Frank!" she shrieked, and flounced after him, arms outstretched towards the Thing. She grabbed it by the arms and flung it away. Quite by accident, instead of ending up safely in her arms, the creature landed painfully on their back on the cold floor of the lab. It whimpered again, but never did it start crying.

At the exact same moment Columbia and Frank dove for the Thing, each one grabbing either of the creature's arms. Neither could hear the quiet giggles of the brother and sister behind them.

"Let go of it!" _Pull_.

"Oh, Frank, please don't!" _Pull_.

"Don't what?" _Harder pull_.

"Don't put her in the freezer!" It was the first time the creation had been given a gender, and Columbia was fairly sure her assumption was correct, despite how hard it was to get a good look at its face with that hair hanging.

"And why not?"

"I'll keep her!" Columbia could hardly believe the words that had come from her mouth. "I'll keep her!" Then (how ridiculous), "She likes me!"

Frank let go, and the Thing fell to the groupie. Relieved, she held it close to her, her bottom lip sticking out in a pucker, trying to seem threatening. After catching his breath, settling his nerves, he raised a brow and leaned in towards them slightly. "_You'll _keep her?" he asked mockingly.

Columbia could feel the small breaths against her skin. This was a living being and deserved better. "Yes," she said bravely. "I can't let you put such a cute little person away like that." Looking for some help, she glanced at Magenta and Riff Raff. She was biting her lip and tapping her foot, watching the scene intently, but offered no back up for her friend. Of course, Magenta's brother was somewhere in his own world.

She nodded to herself and firmly repeated, "I'll keep her."


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahh! I love all of you (: **

The Thing followed Columbia like a lost puppy to the room her and Magenta shared. In fact, she wasn't far off from a lost puppy. Her eyes were large and sunken, brown and permanently frightened.

Colombia squealed, happy she had a new-found friend who hadn't found her annoying. Or, if she did, she wasn't saying so. "This will be really fun," she rambled, "really, really fun. We don't need Frank! Do we?" She sprawled out across her bed, sighing in contentment. The Thing followed her exact movement. Columbia smiled at her, an idea suddenly popping into her head. "You need a name!"

The Thing also smiled, revealing rows of sharp teeth.

"Oh!" Columbia recoiled. "What, was he making, a _vampire or something_up there?"

Any trace of happiness vanished from her features. Although she didn't understand a word, the tone of voice Columbia used probably reminded her of a certain someone who would much rather be forgotten.

"I'm sorry," the groupie said. "It's just...Frank really screwed something up this time." Gently, she cuffed the Thing's jaw. "But you're cute."

She smiled again, and this time Columbia wasn't frightened. "Okay." She sat up from her comfortable position and leaned her back against the wall, the creation following suit. "A name. First things first. Name's Columbia." Columbia pointed a thumb at her chest, and then held her hand out. "Shake."

She stared at the pale hand in amusement.

Columbia took the smaller hand in hers, trying to ignore its strange clamminess, and shook, mindfully, up and down. "See? That's what you're supposed to do when you meet someone new."

A look of understanding came across her face. "Columbia," the Thing said, its voice a whisper, raspy and quiet.

"Yay!" Columbia clapped in pure happiness. "'Kay, your name. How about..." She scratched her chin, unusually deep in thought. "Can't believe the Master hasn't given you one. Well, I'll just call you Illinois, 'cause that's where I'm from, where my name is from."

Illinois' face was blank.

"Get it? Columbia, Illinois! _Haha_!" She burst into a fit of laughter, smacking her forehead. "I'm so smart. When did _that_happen, huh?" Columbia carelessly threw her arm across Illinois' shoulders. "We're gonna be best friends," she muttered, more to herself than her companion. Truth be told, Columbia really hadn't felt so good in a long time. Illinois reminded her greatly of the pet mouse-Minnie-she had when she was a child, maybe nine or ten years old. Of course, Illinois was much, much different from a mouse. But the same idea still applied. You have to feed it, love it, clean up its poop. Illinois was going to be a big responsibility, indeed.

And then suddenly, Columbia did _not_feel so good. Since when had she ever been a responsible person?

"Columbia," repeated Illinois, her voice slightly louder than before. "Columbia, Columbia, Columbia." She nodded her head and began chanting the name over and over, until to Columbia, her name didn't even sound like a real word anymore.

"Okay, that's right," she squeaked. "_I'm_ Columbia, and _you're_ Illinois." She tapped the creature's forehead. "Ill-i-nois."

"Illinois," she said. She possessed a strange accent, so faint it was barely noticeable. But Columbia tended to notice what others didn't, and it sounded almost like Frank wanted to make it similar to his, but it was a definite failure, the sad attempts of a perfectionist.

"I'm like a mother," Columbia mumbled. She had always fancied herself a mom, ever since she could hold a doll in her tiny little hands. There was a rag doll she had since the very day she came into the world, a scraggly old thing named Nancy. It must be around here somewhere, Columbia was certain she took it with her when she moved in with Frank. Maybe Illinois would like to keep Nancy. Isn't that what mothers are supposed to do? Teach their kids, help them through breakups, and give them their old toys?

Quite suddenly, Magenta waltzed in, unaccompanied by her brother. She had a way of sneaking up on people that was downright unnerving.

"_Ahh_!" Columbia squeaked, clutching at her heart. She gestured to Illinois. "We were having a moment, 'Genta!"

Magenta clearly was not impressed by Columbia's new friend. Perhaps she was jealous? Colombia highly doubted that. The domestic was not known to ever be jealous, or pay much attention to anyone but herself to even notice a quality on someone else that could spark envy within her.

"Dinner," she said in her regular, monotone voice. "Yours tonight." She gave a very quick smile to Columbia, and then a very quick sneer to Illinois before turning on her heel and taking off.

Turning to Illinois, Columbia grinned. "Birthday dinner!" she exclaimed, leaping off the bed and rushing to her secret stash of crazy hats even Magenta didn't know existed. She took out two birthday hats, tossing one to Illinois, who of course didn't realize she was supposed to catch it.

Columbia put her hat on and, suppressing a sigh, bent down and retrieved her friend's hat. Carefully, she placed it on Illinois' head. Her hair was softer than it appeared, and Columbia just couldn't wait to fix it up, give her a complete makeover.

"_Birthday dinner_!" she said again, taking Illinois by the hand and rushing to the kitchen.


End file.
